091208

I know one should never expect, but am I expecting too much from people? Maybe I am. I go out of my way so much. A little too much sometimes. I know I'm not that of an important person to be there for. I mean I'm always there when one needs an ear, I'm there for advice, opinion, to cry to, to vent to.. I'm there when one needs something... anything. Maybe It's my fault for not saying "No; I can't right now" etc, sometimes. But the thing is I don't want to turn people down. Even though there are times I know I really can't, I'll still make it possible. I'll cut work, leave early, put off things that I know that should be done. In the back of my head I don't expect people to do that. I know they don't ask me to do that but, I just do it because I know it'll mean a lot to them or make them happy. That's all that's important. I rarely ask for much. Maybe I don't anymore because I hate the "rejection". I hate that feeling. Then again I know all people are not the same. What's important to me could be shit to them. That's why I keep a lot of "Jamie's needs/wants" to myself. Yeah yeah... I'm being dramatic. There are more bigger problems out there.. it sucks. I know it'll pass. I'll get over it. Then I'll be back to normal. Maybe I am selfish.. but for now I think I'm... done.